


His Perfect Omega

by YellowWallpaper



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha!Dean, Alpha/Omega, Doctor's visit, F/M, Feelings, Female Reader, Infertility, Knotting, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Medical Procedures, Prowling, Reader-Insert, Scenting, heat triggered, omega!reader, plus size reader, references to oral, references to reproduction problems
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-22 18:21:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6089869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowWallpaper/pseuds/YellowWallpaper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I offered to do a request that kittenofdoomage received, but was unable to do.</p><p>"Can you please please please please write a plus-size!reader A/B/O oneshot with Dean? (Like 200lbs plus? Like rolls, double chin, stretch marks everywhere, the real deal) please? Please please please please? I'm begging please."</p><p>Beg no more!  (Unless you're into that which I totally am. . .)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. His Perfect Omega

“It could be any of the reasons I mentioned. Why don’t we schedule an ultrasound? We could get a look at what those ovaries are doing. And in the meantime, weight loss would of course help.”

You sighed. It seemed like every doctor’s visit was the same, no matter the reason for the visit. Of course, yes, weight loss was just a cure-all for any type of ailment known to man. This doctor knew of your history, knew of your attempts. No matter what, the weight just seemed stubborn. Perhaps it was starting to become an issue though. You hadn’t had a heat in a year. With no mate and no one night stands there was very little chance you were pregnant. And that was your reason for sitting up on his table in a flimsy gown that barely closed in the back. You crossed your ankles over each other, a small attempt to maintain some modesty.

“Yeah, I’ll schedule an ultrasound,” you responded. New appointment card in pocket, your drive home was quiet. Thoughts and concerns filling your thoughts and distracting you from even turning on the radio.

Ω Ω Ω

“So what did the doc say?” Your coworker asked. You were grateful to work with another omega. Betas nearly saturated the population with Alphas being even rarer than omegas. So to find an omega as a fellow librarian was nothing short of a blessing. Almost like the fabled True Mates, you and Susan had become quick friends. You had barely even blushed when she gifted you with an expensive “heat aid” for your birthday. Vibrated and inflated and everything.

“Oh same old. Lose some weight, everything will sort itself out,” you dismissed the advice with a wave of your hand.

“That’s it? Come on, you need to find a new doctor if his only advice is to lose weight.”

“Nah, I’ve got an ultrasound scheduled in a couple weeks,” you knelt down to replace a book on the bottom shelf. As usual it took a few seconds of shifting and grabbing the shelf to pull yourself back into a standing position.

“Excuse me,” you looked up, cheeks flushed and slightly out of breath. A very attractive man towered over you, smelling of nice safe beta. You had smelled an alpha once, all musk and authority and you thought a bit of pine. This guy didn’t smell like that, though you could sense a gentle nature in his scent.

“I was looking for any articles you might have about the old meat packing factory in town?” he asked. You blinked at the unusual response.

“Jorgenson’s? I think we might have something over here,” you led him over to the microfiche reader and assisted him with turning it on and locating the old articles. You learned he was interested in what led to its shutting down back in the seventies.

“Interesting that it’s never been torn down or remodeled into something else,” you murmured as you pulled another packet of microfiche for the man you learned was named Sam.

“Not for lack of trying,” he mentioned, leaning in close to grab another fiche.

“You know, I think if I remember correctly there was a book written by a local historian about that place. Let me grab it for you.”

“Thanks Y/N,” Sam said distractedly as he loaded the films.

Ω Ω Ω

“So he did give you his number, right?” Susan drilled as soon as he left.

“Right. Because that’s what he wants,” you laughed.

“That’s a serious question Y/N. Did you get his number?” Susan grabbed the books out of your hand and dumped them back in the box. “Did you smell him? I think he’s got some alpha in him. Didn’t smell like any beta I’ve met.”

“Nah, I smelled an alpha once. This guy didn’t smell like that.”

Ω Ω Ω

“Gotta be the son of Lyle Jorgenson. Found an article. He was quoted ‘I would sell this plant over my dead body’,” Sam handed Dean the copies he had made.

“Where’s he buried?” Dean picked up the papers, scanning the articles. He tried to focus on what Sam was saying but he found his focus drifting. He almost felt a little dizzy when he caught a slight whiff of . . . something. Something warm, almost like freshly baked bread. It grew stronger when Sam leaned forward to pull out a specific map from the papers in Dean’s hand.

“So we can just swing by there tonight, salt and burn and we’re out,” Sam laid out the plan. “Dean?”

“Yeah, uh, sounds good,” he drifted.

“Are you drunk?” Sam frowned.

“No, not yet,” Dean leaned forward, led by his nose, a little closer to his brother.

“Dude, are you scenting me?” Sam jerked away with a grimace.

“You smell different,” Dean said, barely able to keep the growl out of his voice.

“Whatever, I’m gonna go get food. I gotta stop back at the library before they close. Left my jacket there.”

“I’ll go with,” Dean grabbed his keys.

The smell was there. Dean could sense it in the library parking lot. Not stronger, but just – everywhere. More spread out. No bakeries around that he could see to explain it though. But if Dean was being completely honest, it was more than just a smell. It was as if he was remembering. Remembering a feeling or a state of being. Although he was certain he had never felt it before.

“Gonna come in with me?” Sam looked back when he heard Dean open his door. The only response he got was Dean glaring for a second before scanning the parking lot again. In the library the scent was again all over, but stronger. Bread, honey… and something else.

Ω Ω Ω

“One more hour,” you thought as you glanced to the clock on the wall. Susan was getting ready to leave.

“Is that that guy’s jacket?” she nodded to the tan jacket on your seat.

“Yeah. Hopefully he comes back,” you turned a page in your book. Susan waved goodbye before stopping short.

“Crap, lunch in the fridge,” she mumbled, walking back to the employee area.

“Hi!” Your attention was drawn to the counter. You smiled when you saw the kind eyes again.

“Sam!”

“Hey, I think I left my jacket here,” he started was you grabbed it and walked towards the desk to hand it back to him. You stopped, knees nearly buckling when someone stepped up beside him.

Blonde hair, green eyes, freckles that you’d love to count. And THAT smell. You knew that smell, at least something like it. But this was more, something deeper, something better. Like cinnamon and earth, worn cotton t-shirts and every summer weekend from your childhood. You saw his pupils dilate and his nostrils flare, obviously picking up on something too. His perfect plump lips mouthed a curse and somehow through all this you saw Susan return, her nose crinkling.

“What’s that smell?” she wondered out loud, both her and Sam watching you two cautiously.

“Alpha,” you said as easily as breathing.

“Whoa,” Sam exclaimed, Dean’s earlier behavior becoming clear. Dean was sensing a mate. Scenting, restlessness, almost protective. He was practically prowling. “Y/N, this is my brother Dean,” Sam said warily.

“Dean,” you repeated. His name felt perfect in your mouth. In that moment every insecurity, every doubt, every fear left you as you saw the hunger in Dean’s gaze.

“Y/N,” he said, relishing in your name. He rounded the desk, lifting the folding top and letting it fall to the desk with a bang, and stalked toward you.

“Wow,” you breathed as he approached. You then noticed how tall he was. He towered over you and all you wanted to do was curl up and cling to his chest and feel his strong arms wrap around you and protect you. His breath, warm and clean, huffed out his open mouth as you both simply stared at each other.

“Is he an alpha?” Susan asked Sam quietly, not wanting to break whatever bubble you and Dean seemed to have created around each other.

“Yeah. And I think there’s something biological going on. Even I can smell it,” Sam responded just as quietly. Susan nodded.

“Can… can I?” Dean whispered, his hands coming up to your biceps. If he hadn’t been focused on your scent, he would have stopped to bask in the smoothness of your skin. You nodded, tilting your head to the side, revealing your neck. Dean lunged forward, nose burrowing under your hair against your neck. The position put his own neck right in line with your nose, his scent flooding your senses without you even trying to scent him. The pheromones had a profound effect on you. Your eyes slid shut, a wave of prickly heat rolling over your head and working down your spine. This time your knees did buckle and Dean slipped his arms under yours to hold you against him.

“Dean!” you gasped.

“Fuck you smell so good. Never knew anyone could smell so good,” he groaned against your skin, his hot breath making your neck damp. You whimpered, recognizing the sensation that you hadn’t felt in over a year. Skin tight, perspiration gathering on your temples and upper lip, your thighs dampening with either sweat or slick, you weren’t sure at this point. But you were sure that you never felt these symptoms come on so fast. It was frightening. Usually you would be home, safe, your nest built up in your bedroom just the way you liked it. You didn’t like feeling this way in public, Susan being the only one who could sympathize. You gripped Dean’s arms, whimpering into his jacket.

“Y/N, your heat! You have to get home!” she urged when she caught the heady sweet scent of heat.

“Dean, Y/N really should get home,” Sam started forward. Dean snaked his arms around your body, your cheeks burning with heat and embarrassment as you realized he could only just about touch his fingertips together. The initial fog of your heat had started to clear and you suddenly realized that you were embracing an incredibly attractive man; one that you were certain would not have looked at you twice. His head jerked over to glare at Sam, his teeth bared. You could see red starting to rim his eyes and wondered if your own were taking on that gold flecked halo in your irises.

“Hey!” Sam backed away, hands up in defense, “Dean, I’m not trying to take her! But she should get home very soon.”

“I’ll take her,” Dean growled.

“If that’s okay with Y/N,” Susan said, thankfully being your voice of reason and looking out for you.

“Y/N?” Sam looked at you. Dean looked down at you, breath held as he realized one particularly devastating option you had. You could reject him. No matter how strongly he felt the need to claim you, he knew that he had no right. Not until you let him. Thoughts of please don’t, please let me take care of her, I need her I need her raced through his brain.

You stared up into his eyes, knowing you didn’t know this man. You knew that any respectable girl would at least require dinner before presenting for any guy. And you were not one to sleep around, no, you had much more important things to do than be a slave to your biology. But then you had never felt your biology rebelling against that mindset so strongly until now. Everything in your brain was telling you to say no, but that was rapidly melting away as he silently pleaded with you. Begged you, nearly laying himself at your feet and being pleased that he could do that. You nodded.

“Please Dean,” you murmured. The wall Dean had started to build up around himself shattered with those two words and his lips crashed onto yours. You could feel him nodding in the midst of the kiss. Promising to protect you, to take care of you, to never let any harm come to you.

“I’m gonna take care of you baby,” he whispered into your lips. You nodded. “Can you tell me where you live?” Another silent nod. He nodded again, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as he started guiding you towards the door.

“Sammy, you ok to uh..?” he glanced back.

“Yeah, I got it Dean, I’ll get back to the motel. Text me when you get a chance,” Sam waved him off, a small grin in place.

Somehow you ended up in the passenger seat of a car. An old car you realized as you noticed you were sitting on a bench seat. You pointed Dean to the highway that led to your house just 15 minutes from the library. 15 long, irritating, blistering minutes.

“This has never happened to me before,” Dean said, foot pressing down on the accelerator. The engine roared as it lurched forward and ate up more highway.

“Me neither. Never thought I’d find an alpha.”

“Y/N, I gotta be straight, my life is, well, it’s a little unconventional,” Dean started. You were both grateful that the rush of pheromones and hormones had subsided enough for the moment, though you still had trouble keeping still in the seat. You could remember your typical heat behavior. If you weren’t writhing on your bed with a fake knot buried deep inside you, you were pacing your home. Constantly adjusting the nest of blankets and pillows, passing urges to cook food to sustain you during your estrus phase. You chuckled.

“Well then I’m just perfect aren’t I?” you snickered. Dean glanced over at you, a perplexed smile on his face. Yes, he had to agree, you were absolutely perfect for him. He didn’t know you, he didn’t even know your last name. But something in him was telling him that you were his perfect match and he shouldn’t be anywhere else at the very moment. Well, ideally he would be knotted inside you, but he was willing to take anything right now.

“Yeah, you are,” he agreed.

“Come on Dean,” you turned your head to look out the window, not sure if you could say this to his face. “Everyone knows omegas are supposed to be these tiny, submissive beings just begging to hang off a knot. If they can find one. And Lord knows I’m anything but small,” you said, your stomach turning at the acknowledgment of what you are.

“You’re not supposed to be anything,” Dean said, pulling the car over to the shoulder. He shifted it into park and turned towards you. “Y/N, you’re perfect. I can’t explain it, I don’t know you and you don’t know me and I’ve never been in anything serious before. I couldn’t see myself with anyone, but now. I just know that I’m going to be missing something forever if you’re not with me. I never wanted anyone else in my life other than my brother because I can’t give my mate what they would deserve.”

“And what’s that?” you asked, pulling hair off your damp neck.

“A home. A safe home where we can wake up on weekends and have coffee in bed. Christmases and Fourth of Julys. A place to stay and nest. Be together and… and maybe one day, some pups or something,” he trailed off at the end. “Pretty alpha of me huh?” he scoffed. You quirked a smile at his self-assessment. Stereotypical yes, of course alpha’s main drive is to provide and protect. And here is one rare alpha smelling absolutely delicious, perfectly unconventional for his unconventional omega. You wondered what he meant by his life being unconventional, but the air in the steel box of a car began to get stuffy with whatever it was he was putting off.

“Dean,” you said, reaching over to grab his hand. “Please take me home. If you’ll have me,” you added. Dean’s head shot up at your words, his hand gripping yours tightly.

“All of you,” he answered as he leaned into you, lips meeting tenderly this time. His tongue sneaked out, grazing lightly over your lower lip. You gasped, opening your mouth for him and pressing your tongue forward to meet his. His hands reaching up to grip your head, gently snaking into your hair and holding you close, still almost afraid you were going to leave his grasp somehow. He deepened the kiss with his whole body, sliding over to press up against you. You moaned into it, allowing him as close as possible in the confined space. For the first time you realized (how it hadn’t happened until now you would never know), you brought your hands up to wrap around his neck. Your fingers ran through the closely clipped hair along the nape of his neck and once again you were caught in a thick cloud of cinnamon and cotton.

“Dean,” you gasped, pulling away from the kiss to breath. Dean continued down your neck. “Dean, I would prefer if you knotted me in my own bed rather than the side of the road.”

He groaned at your words, hips stuttering in his seat as his cock responded too.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry, how much farther?” he pushed back, adjusting himself with the heel of his hand. Blinking, he slipped the car back into gear and pulled back onto the road.

“Not far.”

You had hoped for a quick entrance into your home. Unfortunately your neighbors were sitting out on their driveway enjoying a beer as the sun was started to go down.

“Hi Y/N!” they waved. You nodded towards them and waved a bit as you pushed yourself out of the car. You bit off a whimper as you felt slick starting to slide down your thigh to soak into your pants. The waves of prickly heat over your skin were returning. The light headedness that usually accompanied them was sure to follow soon. Dean had rounded the vehicle to help you out and to eye up the neighbors, his alpha coming out again as he glared at the potential threat to you. They were just sitting in lawn chairs and Dean was ready to mark you right there in front of them. Boy he was getting alpha on you.

“Dean, they’re my neighbors, calm down,” you attempted to soothe him. He looked at you and then back at them, calmed by their non-offensive postures.

“I’m Dean,” he mustered up some words for them as a greeting.

“Come on alpha, save that for the bedroom,” You whispered. He glanced down at you, a growl on his lips as you two quickly made your way into your house. Once inside the door Dean attached his lips to yours again and didn’t let them go until you had pulled him into your bedroom, his jacket being left in a heap in the hallway somewhere. Kicking the door shut behind him, he grabbed the front of your button down top and yanked at the buttons. You heard a few buttons pop off, yelping as you felt cold air hit the revealed skin. Dean could only gaze down in adoration at the pink satin bra and the ample cleavage it was supporting. His hands shook slightly as he pulled his own shirt off. Resuming his kissing, he pushed your shirt off your shoulders, hands roaming over your back. The sensation caused another rush of heat and you arched your back into him, desperate for skin to skin contact. The two of you stumbled in the general direction of your bed and you spared a glance at it, saddened you hadn’t had time to build up a proper nest for tonight. Dean made you look back at him with a finger on your chin.

“It’s perfect baby. The only thing wrong is we’re not on it.” You whimpered, more wetness flooding your center.

“Dean, I need you,” you moaned. Your head was spinning at this point and a thought briefly crossed your mind that you had never had a heat like this before.

“I know baby, I got you. You’re burning up sweetheart,” he gently pushed back to sit you on the edge of the bed. He laid you down, crawling over you, hands at the waistband of your pants.

“Dean I’m in heat,” you panted. He chuckled.

“Yeah, I’m pretty certain you are,” his eyes glittering, the red beginning to take over his irises again.

“No, Dean, I…I haven’t, haven’t had a heat,” you forced out.

“Ever?” he looked up at you in alarm.

“No not ever, just haven’t had one in over a year,” you whispered. Your cheeks flushed. Dean blinked, his mind working through his own rushing hormones as best it could.

“That’s why you smell so goddamn good right now. Has to be. Never smelled an omega this strong before,” he murmured, his fingers finally releasing the button of your pants. Slowly, he pulled the zipper down. “Wonder what caused it all of a sudden,” he spread his fingers out over your abdomen, snaking them around to grab your hips. You squirmed, trying to work your pants down with your thighs.

“I think it was you,” you breathed. Dean groaned, dropping his head to draw circles with his tongue on your skin, tracing the few stretch marks you had.

“God you’re making me crazy. Feel like I can’t get enough,” he moaned. With all the effort he could muster, he lifted himself up and yanked your pants and underwear down off your legs.

“Dean! Come on, I need your knot!” you spread your legs, Dean’s hands immediately running up your thick thighs to lightly trace over your folds.

“Fuck,” he breathed. You were absolutely soaked. Shiny slick was coating your thighs, glistening off your sex, even dripping onto the bed. He had wanted to take his time and slowly make you come undone, but there would be time for that later. He knew he couldn’t even get off the bed to get you a towel at this point.

“Dean, take your pants off,” you begged. He nodded his head, quickly shucking off his jeans, thick 100% alpha cock jutting out proudly from his groin. You reached forward, fingers wrapping around your first and only alpha cock you would ever know. You groaned, wanting to wrap your lips around that velvet soft hardness. That would come later, when the urgency had died down. His eyes rolled back as you gripped the loose skin where his knot would form.

“Y/N, I can’t,” he panted. Nodding, you spread your legs. Dean walked closer on his knees, hand around his cock, rubbing precum around the reddening head with his thumb. A moment of apprehension flitted up your spine as he began to press past your sopping folds. The feeling quickly passed as you felt him ease into you, spreading you and filling you up so perfectly.

“Oohhhh,” you breathed out. You gasped as he nestled himself inside you, the tip pressing against your cervix, the length of his cock putting pressure on your g-spot. You swore you were in heaven, perfect, whole, and complete. The length of his body rested completely on you and it still wasn’t enough. Wrapping your legs around this waist, you attempted to hold him closer, only for the gesture to be fervently returned. Dean buried his face into your neck, drawing in deep breaths through his nose as he began to rut into you.

“Never felt anything like this baby,” he huffed, his tongue licking up your neck, teeth nibbling at your earlobe. You moaned in response, hips moving along with his thrusts. Unlike how you usually reacted with your silicone knot, your slick increased, flowing out of you and spreading over your thighs and Dean’s groin. Each thrust of his hips caused a hitch in your breath, your hands scrambling to hold onto his firm biceps to ground yourself.

“Dean, I’m gonna cum,” you moaned, his scent becoming more spicy as his knot began to swell. That was all it took for your walls to flutter around him and your orgasm burst out of you throughout your limbs. That first orgasm of heat was always the easiest to chase. Luckily your cheeks were already flushed so Dean didn’t notice the blush of embarrassment at how quickly he brought you over the edge. Dean grunted as his knot rapidly swelled, locking him into you. He moaned into your skin as his own orgasm overtook him, pumping his seed deep into you, not a drop being spilled or wasted.

As soon as your spinning head stilled, you realized Dean had gone lax over you, his tongue still lazily licking along your pulse, teeth making momentary appearances as he nipped along your jawbone. You smirked.

“Please, no marks. On either chin,” you mumbled. Dean huffed out a laugh.

“But I love ‘em both,” he pouted. He maneuvered himself onto his knees to take some weight off of you. “I’ve never knotted someone before,” he confessed as he ran his hands over your arms, memorizing the feel of your skin.

“I’ve never been knotted before,” you responded, “Not with a real one anyways.” Dean’s hips jerked. You could felt his cock twitch inside you, releasing more cum into your passage. “Again?”

“Guess so,” he finally answered when the twitching stopped. The two of you moved as best you could to get into a more comfortable position. His knees bent under you, resting on either side of your hips. Gingerly, he laid himself down over you, cushioned by your stomach. Not only was this Dean’s first time knotting someone, but it was also his first time with a girl of your size. He was never looking back. No sharp hip bones digging into him. He didn’t feel like he was gonna crack one of your ribs if he laid down on top of you. And let’s face it, Dean was a breast man and he loved what you had been endowed with. A content purr emanated from his chest as he settled in. He rested his forearms on the mattress, hands free to card through your hair.

“This ok?” he checked in. You nodded, rubbing one of your thighs along his hip. “How long do your heats usually last?” Dean asked. He pulled the comforter up over you two, pulling it and tucking it around you both. You smiled at his attempts to nest you.

“Three days or so. You gonna stick around?”

“Absolutely. I’ll have Sam bring us some food.”

“Really? I’m not too much woman for you?”

“Only in the best ways,” he frowned slightly as he realized you were still wearing your bra. “But next time I promise to get this off,” he pulled at the strap. You giggled as the elastic snapped back in place.

“So it goes without saying that I’ve never made small talk while knotted before either. Usually I’m a little more confident over a coffee or at work,” you said.

“Well I think we’re past the coffee talk phase,” Dean smiled. “Hey, if you’re a librarian, does that mean I could bend you over the magazine display and knot you after hours?”

You laughed when you saw that Dean was only half joking.

“Or maybe I could be behind the circulation desk with you, on my knees. . .” he started.

“Dean! Stop!” you laughed, “Definitely not!” He grinned at making you smile. “Well, maybe after hours,” you added.

“Fuck you’re amazing,” he cooed, hands resuming their traveling over your skin. You ran your hand over the dark tattoo you just now noticed on his chest. Before the hysteria of heat overtook you both again, you looked into Dean’s eyes, the alpha red gone leaving just his sparkling green ones looking down into yours.

“Dean, what did you mean when you said your life was unconventional?”


	2. And Then There Was...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of Dean and our beloved Reader a year after they met...

Another doctor's office. A different one, your old doc had moved to a new clinic an hour away, so you were here with their replacement. But no paper gown this time. You tried to let that calm your nerves. It had been a year since Dean mated you. One amazing, revolutionary, exciting year. But amongst those changes one thing remained steadfast.

No heats. Not regularly anyways. You had had one other since the one he brought on that day you met. But since then there had only been one that lasted a day and a half and nothing since. So you weren't sure if you could even consider it a heat.

"Ok Y/N, so you're here because you haven't had a heat in six months?"

"Well, that one only lasted like a day or two, so I'm not sure if it could even be considered a heat. The time before that was when I met my mate, and before that it was like a year or something. Starting to wonder if I'm even omega," you babbled, the doctor nodding and writing the information down. “I’ve taken four pregnancy tests these last six months and they were all negative.”

"Ok, so, this last mini heat, were you producing slick? Did your mate say your scent changed?" You didn't miss the unstated with that question. Dean was supposed to be here. The receptionist had said this consultation could be done with just you, but it really was better if the alpha to the omega was present for discussions about fertility.

"Yeah, he said he could smell it. And there was slick."

"Ok, so I guess my next question is how did you want to approach this?"

"Pardon?"

"What did you want to get out of this visit?"

You weren't prepared for that. To you it was obvious. Omegas are supposed to have heats. Omegas are stereotypically the most fertile people, and when they mate with an alpha, well, there was that show about the Alpha and Omega with 17 pups. Were you really going to have to explain what the issue was here?

"Well, for one I'd like to know why my cycles aren't what they're supposed to be. And I'd like to know if this is going to be a huge issue if we decide to have pups. I know that I’m not in my twenties anymore." The doctor nodded as she made more notes.

"Alright. Well, since I'm a general practitioner, I'm going to refer you to an obgyn with the clinic," she started typing, fingers flying as fast as her words were coming out. "In the meantime, are you taking a prenatal vitamin?"

You shook your head.

"Well if you decide to try for pups I would get on that right away, the prenatals have more folic acid that you'll need. And also, of course, doesn't hurt to lose a bit of weight, that'll help prevent gestational diabetes."

ΩΩΩ

"So what'd she say?"

"Well it seems I can't get through one doctor's appointment without them recommending I lose some weight," you huffed as you unloaded groceries into the fridge with one hand, the other holding your cell phone.

"Well fuck her in that respect, but did she have anything else to say?"

"She's gonna have me go see an obgyn next week. In the meantime take a vitamin and sit on my thumbs."

"It'll be fine babe. We'll get this figured out."

"Speaking of, did you find out whose bones you're supposed to be burning?" You settled down on the couch, feet up on the coffee table and listened to your mate talk about his average work day. Autopsy reports and historical records. The boys had been absolutely certain it was the old house boy that had done in the daughter, but it had been a woman's perspective that told them to check on the step mother. It wasn't the affair that caused the death of a young debutante in a delicate condition; it was the pride of her step mother.

You knew that Dean's life was going to make things more complicated. You knew there were going to be certain lies that had to be told. Your neighbors thought you were mated to an FBI Agent. One that travels a lot of course. You knew that it was going to mean being with someone but alone. But to your surprise, it was a lot easier than you thought. The way you'd heard people talking about mates, you expected to feel some kind of constant pull in your chest whenever you were apart. You expected to practically soak your panties through at the sight and smell of your strong, perfect Alpha. What you found however, was a constant feeling of reassurance. A feeling that while you were alone in a room, you knew that somewhere your mate, your love, your Alpha was out there making a difference and was probably thinking of you too and that just made you smile.

ΩΩΩ

"Is Y/N there?"

"This is she," you answered. Susan waved you into the back as you took the phone call you had been biting your nails over for the past week. Your appointment with the obgyn had gone much easier than you anticipated. To your surprise and delight, your weight was not brought up. Especially when she looked at your blood panel. Everything seemed normal. All the hormones, all the glucose, all the insulin, all was in the normal happy zone that she wasn't concerned with. From that point the road moving forward forked. You had the option of going on birth control, a sure fire way to make your cycles regular, or a couple other meds that could produce results while leaving the option of getting pregnant open. In the end, the thought of having regular cycles but no Alpha present on a regular basis to help you through them seemed a little worrisome. Dean agreed, so you decided the short term plan going forward was to try a cycle of provera and then clomid. Forcing a cycle to see if ovulation could occur at all. And if this resulted in a pup, you and Dean were ready for that challenge. If not, well you did enjoy being able to sleep in on the weekends.

"I got the results of your progesterone screening, and you didn't ovulate. But don't worry about that, ok?"

"I didn't?"

"It's not unusual, like I said at our appointment, it's not uncommon for the standard dose to not work the first time. So let's try it again, this time I'm gonna double the dosage. I've seen that work with other women, ok?"

"Ok."

"Has Dean gotten his semen analysis?"

You sighed. In addition to testing you to see if ovulation was possible, Dr. Simmons had said it would be a good idea to test Dean at the same time.

_"Even though you are the smoking gun, it doesn't hurt to get all things tested and ruled out as soon as possible." Dr. Simmons had said with a slight nod of her head._

"Uh, no, he hasn't yet. But he does have an appointment next week, he'll be in town then."

"Alright, sounds good. I sent that prescription over so it should be ready any time. Take it easy Y/N."

"Thank you, Dr. Simmons," you said before hanging up. And for the first time, you realized you were actually thankful for her.

ΩΩΩ

“Hey guys, welcome back,” you called from the kitchen when you heard the front door open.

“Hi Y/N!” you heard Sam call out.

“Hey Sam, got your bed all ready for ya,” you called back. Your fold out couch just barely fit the tallest Winchester but he said he would take that over a motel bed any night. Being able to get up and cook himself a decent breakfast was worth laying diagonally across a thin mattress.

“Mind if I shower first?” he asked as they both stepped into the kitchen.

“Yeah go ahead,” Dean pulled out a couple beers from the fridge and offered him one. “Beer for your shower?”

“Yessss,” Sam snatched the bottle from his hand and headed off towards the bathroom. Before you heard the door shut, Dean was crowded up behind you as you formed the patties for your burgers.

"Missed you omega," he murmured, pressing kisses to your neck, his hands gripping your hips tight. You smiled despite your frustration.

"Baby we can't. You've got your appointment tomorrow," you pushed him back with your ass. In preparation for his test, according to the doctors, he had to abstain from ejaculation for four to seven days prior. Dean grimaced, a low growl coming out of him when you pulled away.

"You know that's just gonna make me want you more," he said, taking off his jacket and throwing it on the couch in the other room. Before you had been a very neat person. Everything in its place and you liked it that way. But now, you enjoyed the chances Dean got to spread his presence and his scent around your home.

"Well just think of this as a chase that lasts a couple days. After tomorrow, I plan on having you on multiple surfaces within these walls. Think we can think of a reason to kick Sam out for a few hours?" you dropped your voice to a register that you knew was a tease, and considering his state, was probably too mean, but you just couldn't help it. You glanced over at him, a sly smile and just the barest hint of a wink before you straightened up.

"Dinner? How do chicken burgers with hoisin mayo and broccoli sound?" You had been looking up diets that seemed to help get omegas' cycles back on track and was hoping Dean would be just as enthused.

"Sounds delicious baby."

ΩΩΩ

"You sure you're gonna be ok?" You frowned, watching Dean get ready.

"I'll be fine. Just wanna get it over and done with. Jizzing into a cup isn't exactly something a guy looks forward to, ya know?"

"Ok, but you seem nervous. I'll be happy to go with if you need some help?" you asked delicately.

"Nope, it's fine. I'll be back in a bit." Dean tied up his shoe, a fake smile that you had seen before directed at someone else on his face.

"Alright. Love you!"

"Love you too baby," he said with a kiss on your forehead and another fake smile as he walked out the door.

A week and three days later you both were sitting in the sterile white room of the Men's Sexual Health clinic. Dean had made it just in the nick of time, both him and Sam arriving into town after a case.

"We got everything worked out, Bobby is gonna meet Sam back there to finish everything up," he explained when you frowned at the fed suit he was still wearing.

"So when did you sleep last? Did you drive all night?" you started before the door opened and the doctor entered the exam room. You knew the week Dean had had until now. Driving 8 hours to just get to this appointment on time, and still in a stiff suit. He must have really pushed it and you couldn't be anything but grateful for that.

"Mr. Winchester, good to see you again," he smiled. It was only the second time meeting with this one and it wasn't any less awkward than the first time. Dr. Zhang was a tiny asian man that you knew Dean would have no difficulty shaking information out of if he needed to. But in this case, Dr. Zhang had been the one to have Dean by the balls just a couple weeks prior. Literally. Apparently procedure was a physical examination and then a blood panel and a semen analysis. You knew Dean wasn't eager for any of those, but the fact that he was willing to go through it for you meant something. It was just procedure anyways.

"So Dean, I have the results of your blood panel," the doctor took out a paper and explained the multiple tests and what they meant. You both nodded through many of the explanations, not needing the extremely simplified explanations as you had done your research already. Everything within normal ranges, just like your own, prolactin was high, but that was the only wild card.

"And your semen analysis came back. Unfortunately, there was no sperm present in the sample."

And suddenly, as cliché as it was, it was like all the air had left the room.

You blinked, questioning if you had heard the doctor correctly. However the highlighted portion of the piece of paper before you confirmed that.

No sperm present.

"Wait what?" It was Dean that spoke first.

"There could be a couple reasons as to this result," Dean's hand grabbed onto yours and squeezed. "I'll be right back with our clinic's surgeon to help explain those reasons." Dr. Zhang left the room. After a moment, a breath, Dean turned to look at you. You were sure the shock on his face was mirroring your own.

"Surgeon?" he worked out just before the door opened again.

"Dean? I’m Dr. Butcher." a taller man entered, hand extended out to shake hands with you and Dean.

You both sat there, listening to his explanation of what could be causing the test result with the most attention you could muster up. But even the most disciplined mind would struggle to absorb all that he was saying. Could be due to a blockage somewhere in the vas deferens, though there would be no way of knowing where that blockage is. Could be due to the testes simply not producing sperm cells.

"Since locating a blockage would be nearly impossible with our technology, what we do in this situation is a testicular biopsy. I'll take two samples of testicular tissue, and test them for sperm cells. If it's positive, then IVF or surrogacy is still a possibility. If it's negative, then unfortunately having biological children isn't an option for you two."

That was twice you had heard the word unfortunately within the last thirty minutes and you hated it. Looking up at the doctor you saw that he had spoken that last sentence with compassion. He looked as if he hated saying that as much as you hated hearing it.

"Holy shit," Dean muttered, shaking his head as he looked down.

"The biopsy can be done here, of course we'll give you some local anesthesia," the doctor explained, "But what I'll do is I'll make a small incision in your scrotum, and then use this gun that will extract a couple samples of tissue. For about four days or so after it's gonna feel like I flicked you in the nuts five times really hard."

You and Dean left the clinic with a doctor's order to schedule the procedure, but no appointment card.

"A guy named Dr. Butcher is gonna cut into my nutsac and take a sample?!" Dean exclaimed as you both settled into the Impala.

You didn't remind him it would be two samples.

"Hey," you shifted towards him. The keys were in the ignition but he hadn't turned over the engine yet. "I love you. I admire you and you are the most important thing in my life. We haven’t really talked seriously about having pups before, and we’ve said we feel like this is still new. If you don't want to do this, you don't have to," you stated. He was still staring at the steering wheel. You grabbed his arm.

"You don't have to do this. This is fucking huge and I'm not gonna hold it against you or anything if you don’t want to go through it." Dean looked at you. For the first time, you saw him actually scared. He seemed lost and confused and starting to border on that feeling you knew was going to lead to anger. It wasn't until a week later that he gave you his answer.

"The doctor had said if it's positive, then IVF is an option and Sam looked it up and it looks like if we do that, you're gonna be going through some shit too," Dean said one night before bed. "I just have to know if it's possible."

ΩΩΩ

The drive to the clinic that morning for the procedure was quiet. Dean drove, but you were going to be driving back in a short while. He handed over his keys with the normal warnings about Baby's quirks that you were used to already, but nodded along to anyways.

You had imagined that day with you holding Dean’s hand, whispering to him to help calm him down and ease his nerves, but due to the layout of the procedure room, you were left standing at the business end. At the last minute Dr. Butcher had decided to take three samples which by that time didn’t make a difference to Dean.

The drive home was just as quiet as the way there. Dean sat in the passenger seat, an ice pack between his legs and his eyes closed. The anesthesia hadn't worn off yet, but you could tell he was less than comfortable. Besides a few deep exhales, Dean seemed calm, but you worried enough for the both of you. In a week you would know. Beside you Dean scoffed, his mouth turned up with the kind of dry humor that you enjoyed about him.

"Always thought trying to make a pup would be a lot more fun."

ΩΩΩ

_A week later_

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

  
ΩΩΩ

You had always kind of known that it would be difficult to get pregnant. In a way it didn't seem to bother you. At the time you had seen it as a blessing in disguise. It wasn't that you didn't like pups or didn't want them. It had just never really been something that you had seen as an end game in your life. You liked pups fine, one of the best times of your week was the storybook hour you hosted at the library. And yet there were plenty of other times you were grateful that it was just you, and now you and Dean.

But now that choice had been taken from you. And you didn't like it.

Both of you had found the news much harder to hear than either of you expected.

For a few days after the diagnoses you and Dean simply processed. A couple nights of crying yourselves to sleep and day drinking and long naps during the day. You knew you should be talking, the doctor had given you the names of a few therapists and infertility support groups in the area with a strong encouragement to use them. But at the moment the both of you felt too … raw ... to go see anyone or talk to anyone. However, you knew something had to be done the day you walked into the bedroom to see Dean just standing and staring at the bed.

"Dean? You alright?" He blinked and looked over.

"Yeah, fine."

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing." You knew full well they were lies, but you also knew why. You were having those same feelings and you couldn't say with absolute certainty that you wouldn't have responded the same way.

"Can you help me put this laundry away?"

"Yeah."

That night you and Dean finally had a good talk. And not surprisingly, he had the same feeling about pups that you did. He knew the hunting life was no life for children, and if he was to have them, he would have wanted them to have the life that most pups have. Summer camp and bicycles. Homework and family dinners. Driving lessons in the Impala and prom with too many pictures taken by mom and dad. All of which were daydreams that seemed just out of reach. But he also was angry and hurt that the small possibility of that life was taken from him. You were able to speak through your tight throat enough to ask if he still wanted you and what you had together. And to your immense relief, he wrapped you in his arms.

“I need you now more than ever.”

"That support group is meeting on Thursday. Did you want to go?" Dean sighed, tipping back the last swallow of whiskey.

"I don't know. I mean, what am I gonna say during the whole getting to know you part?" He got up from the couch for a refill, snagging your glass on his way. "You know how I am about talking about feelings and shit. I mean the only reason I'm doing it now is because it's you. Just ask Sam."

“I know that. And I’m glad we took this time we just did to process, we needed it. But I think it would be best for us to have something to help us cope. To do something so we don’t just keep dwelling on this.”

Dean nodded, his eyes caught by his cell phone on the counter.

“Sam called me earlier. Said Bobby told him there was a vengeful spirit in Maryland,” he returned to the couch, settling in close to you. “Why don’t we go take care of that with him?”

“We?”

“Yeah, we. The library can handle itself for a bit right? Maybe a change in pace would be good,” Dean said, his arm stretched out over your shoulder, pulling you into him tightly. You thought about the logistics as you settled into his side. His flannel was warm and thick with Dean and Alpha and you immediately felt the calming sensation wash over you. Perhaps a change of scenery was what you needed. You worried that it would be nothing more than a distraction, a way to put off acknowledging your feelings and thoughts. But then you imagined Dean and him sitting beside you on a therapist's couch, or in a circle of folding chairs with a cup of terrible coffee. Maybe someday the thought would be more bearable than it was now.

“Ok, let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this was tough to post. It wasn't just my muse but life that inspired this chapter. I've gotten a few requests to continue this story and I realize it may not go the way many people like fanfiction to go, but I hope many of you understand that this was something I needed to do, something I needed to write about. It's been a cathartic experience. Several of the scenes were not imagined up at all, rather a line by line transcript of my life. I guess my main goal was telling a story that while may not end with the protagonist eventually getting everything they desire, but rather them finding happiness in the things and people they find themselves with.
> 
> I have another chapter in the works that needs some more work and some more fine tuning. I plan on there not being another break as long as there was this last time in posting it, so if you're reading this after having read the first chapter back when I posted it, you won't wait long. Just please understand and be patient with me when I say it's a very personal topic and writing this has been and is extremely therapeutic. But like all therapy, there is no set timeline of when certain milestones happen.
> 
> Thank you for reading, thank you for all the kind words I've gotten about this fic. I'm still getting kudos and comments on it and I can't tell how much each and every one of those mean to me. They've inspired me to post this chapter that has been sitting on my hard drive for nearly half a year. So keep doing what you're doing and I'll keep doing what I'm doing and we're gonna help each other out.
> 
> Muah Dahlings XO


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